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Today I was with Miriam, Marleigh, Lora and Ollie.

I was only supposed to be with Miriam, but Ollie texted me saying he really really wanted to see me...and I felt evil to say no.. but I also felt bad incase Miriam didnt want to see Ollie...so I was torn between! But in the end we saw him after we'd had a little time together first. He was with Lora and Marleigh, which was good because I hadnt seen Lora for ages and I hadnt seen Marleigh since we tried to flush the battery down the toilet.

Not sure whats going on with this whole Ollie thing at the moment, but whatever. I dont really care to be honest. He wouldnt try anything, and if he did, I'd tell him nicely that I love him SO much, but as a friend.. but he wont try anything, so it doesnt matter.

Today was fun though. I tried to get Ollie not to smoke, but then I started talking about his feelings for Niki {fucking stupid of me I know} and he started smoking and I said "No dont" and he said "You started talking about my feelings for Niki, I cant help it" and I said "I'm sorry" and he just looked really sad, so I gave him a huge hug, and I said "I'm really sorry." and he said "its alright" and it was all really nice and meaningful. I love moments like that.

Today there was all this stuff reminding me of Jon, it was crazy...stuff like this stupid book that had loads of depressing songs in it (dont ask) and two of them were Love will Tear us Apart and Hurt...and I was just like argh stop making me think of Jon! and then there was donnie darko everywhere and it was just like argh! because every time i think of him or see something that reminds me of him it just makes me miss him even more.it sucks.

i think i'm finally starting to understand Vienna...but I'm not sure...maybe I just got the wrong impression again, it probably means so much more than i imagine it too.



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