sleepingintherain

This sucks, this really fucking sucks.
I have had the worst day ever, and I'm too in love to breathe.
I'm really pissed off with Niki at the moment, I know I shouldnt be, but I am.
She's going around saying that I told someone that the only reason Eytan finds her attractive is coz she wore a low top on webcam.
Bullshit.
I never said that, I'm not a bitch.
And shes making Eytan "convince" her that she's stunning. Fuck, that annoys me. She fucking knows shes stunning, she says it herself. She says Melis is arrogant, well she can fucking talk!!!! Argh, why does she want every guy in the world to say shes gorgeous? Cant she just accept the fact that she is, and accept that every guy we are interested in will probably love her instead, but she doesnt have to make them. Which is why I refuse to let her talk to/meet Jon. She cant do that to me...because he will fall for her, I just fucking know it. And she would love that, she would fucking love that. I hate this so much.

I wish I didnt love Jon. It would make everything so much fucking easier.

He's ruined everything...so why does he have the amazing capacity to make it all a fuckload better again?

I want him so much. I want him here with me, I love him so much, i cant believe it.