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09/08/2005

47

Marleigh's condition doesnt only hurt me, it really really scares me.

She's severely anorexic, and it scares me so much. I dont know what I'd do if I lost her, shes one of the closest people in my life. The thing is, she knows that no matter how much weight she loses she'll never be happy with herself, but she cant stop. I'm so worried, I dont know what to do anymore. She doesn't seem to understand how serious and life threatening her condition really is. She says she just wants to be thin, but for fucks sake, she's scarily thin as it is. When she left Genevieve's house today, me and Leah and Geno were discussing it, and talking about how she's getting so bad and how scary it is. The thing is she doesnt look nice like that, she looks horrible so thin. And I hope she doesn't think that guys will like her looking like that, because they really wont. I dont know what to do, I hate how unhappy my friends are with themselves. I wish Miriam could be happy, see how beautiful she is and not cut anymore. And I wish Marleigh could be happy, see she doesnt have to lose weight, and doesnt need to cut, and that shes amazing as she is.

Why cant anyone ever be happy with themselves. I know I sound hypocritical, and I'm saying that I wish I could be happy with myself too.

I just hope things get better x

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