sleepingintherain

yesterday i was thinking.

thinking about how everyone, slowly but surely, is leaving me.

melis left to go to america. i miss her so much, i really didnt expect it to affect me this badly. but it has. i guess its just the same old story "olivia loves people too much". but..shes one of my best friends. i love her so much. and..shes gone. and shes getting on with her new life just fine. and i guess thats what hurts the most...that she doesnt need me and my friends. that shes fine. that shes loving it. and i know i should be happy for her, and i am, but i just miss her so much and it really really hurts.

ollie's leaving to go to australia. thats going to be fucking awful. i love ollie so much, hes one of my best friends, and i cant bear to think of him being on the other side of the world...of hardly ever seeing him. i love him so much, hes absolutely amazing. i dont know what im going to do without him.

lora might be leaving to go to canada. i'm actually going to collapse without her with me every day. she means more to me than so many people, if i lost her...i dont know what i'd do. shes one of the most fucking amazing people ive ever met. i dont know what im going to do without her. i just...dont know how i'll cope.

im so upset, and so scared.

what if they all decide they dont need me anymore...and it just...everything weve had...just gets forgotten?

im so scared.