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I havent written here in a very long time.

Everything is happy right now. Jon and Eytan came down to Brighton at the beginning of the half term, and it was so great. I spent the most amazing time with Jon...everything felt so perfect. I am so glad I didn't do anything stupid a couple months back, and instead I trusted my instincts and just kept everything going because now everything is so lovely. We're so open with each other and I feel so comfortable with him. I was reading back on the journals on here about remembering being completely in love with him. And I've realised that that was a different kind of love. That was the kind of scared nervous beginning love, whereas now we are just so comfortable with each other that everything just is...perfect. Or at least it is in my opinion, hopefully it is in his.

I feel like I can completely bear my soul to him, and spill my heart and whatevers in it. He is the kind of person that I can call up in the middle of the night and talk to him about however i'm feeling right that second, whether its something deep and personal or some stupid irrational thing like the shadows in my room moving strangely and scaring me.

When he was here, I fell asleep next to him again, in his arms, and everything felt so right.

He reacts so well with my family, and he seems to fit in so well. I just hope it carries on and now that i'm happy it wont all go to waste.

I do love him. I realise how much everytime i see him, i realise how much i miss him everytime i'm without him.

Life sure is crazy sometimes :) but love is worth everything.

Well I have to go, my Dad is making me go to bed. Its ten past eleven and I have to get up early tomorrow to get the train to London because I'm going shopping with Faye.


Olivia xox

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