sleepingintherain

I'm so glad he's different.

I'm so glad he's not like Ollie.

I dont think I would be able to bear it if he was.

He's the most amazing person I've ever met. He's so different.

I was so scared, scared that he wouldnt want me, or that he would be like Ollie, but I shouldnt have doubted because he's different and unique and amazing and he seems to want me.

I love him so much, he's everything to me.

And he made these past three days so amazing, and I've never been so happy.

He has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

Last night I told him what happened,

maybe I made too much of a big deal of it.

I dont know.

I'm seeing Jon on wednesday

and it will be amazing.

I want to be a singer
i want to be a singer so much. its my entire life. music..singing...its all i want. all i could ever want.
i am a singer, i just have to be found.
when i'm singing, and someone is listening, or even when someone isnt, i feel so worthwhile. i feel like theres something i can do well, something i do someone else likes. i love it so much, its amazing.
music is everything to me.
apart from Jon, of course, but thats a completely different story entirely.

when i sing i feel part of something, like nothing else.

and i'm always his, fatally.x

once i heard her voice,
and she whispered to me.
and i loved the way she breathed,
and i envied her.

twice i felt his touch,
and he held me,
and i loved the way he smiled,
and i wanted him.

the bottle spins, and lands on you and me.
the bottle spins, and lands on you and me.

when i found that empty house,
i sat there and waited for you.
and the reasons all came to me at once,
and i knew i loved you more.

once i knew your name,
and you sang with me.
and i loved the way you were,
and i watched you shining.

the bottle spins, and lands on you and me.
the bottle spins and lands on you and me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh, i wish i could be like you
i wish i didnt have to love,
but i do, and oh,
i wish i had your falseness,
your pretence, and arrogance.
oh wouldnt the world be a better place,
if we were all like you?

and i wish he hadnt made such an imprint,
i wish he hadnt left such a mark,
i wish i hadnt shared my scars with you,
but i did, and oh,
i wish i had your sparkle,
your shine, your subtle beauty.
oh wouldnt the world be a better place,
if we were all like you?

oh, these things that have been stay with me,
my dreams are always awake.
and everyone that passes by,
oh, i hope you see me today.

yesterday i was thinking.

thinking about how everyone, slowly but surely, is leaving me.

melis left to go to america. i miss her so much, i really didnt expect it to affect me this badly. but it has. i guess its just the same old story "olivia loves people too much". but..shes one of my best friends. i love her so much. and..shes gone. and shes getting on with her new life just fine. and i guess thats what hurts the most...that she doesnt need me and my friends. that shes fine. that shes loving it. and i know i should be happy for her, and i am, but i just miss her so much and it really really hurts.

ollie's leaving to go to australia. thats going to be fucking awful. i love ollie so much, hes one of my best friends, and i cant bear to think of him being on the other side of the world...of hardly ever seeing him. i love him so much, hes absolutely amazing. i dont know what im going to do without him.

lora might be leaving to go to canada. i'm actually going to collapse without her with me every day. she means more to me than so many people, if i lost her...i dont know what i'd do. shes one of the most fucking amazing people ive ever met. i dont know what im going to do without her. i just...dont know how i'll cope.

im so upset, and so scared.

what if they all decide they dont need me anymore...and it just...everything weve had...just gets forgotten?

im so scared.

hmm. maybe this is it. maybe this is the final chapter. i fucking doubt it knowing her though.

Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
haha did you blank finbar on saturday
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i was crossing the road when i saw him
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
he said you blanked him >.<
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
it was either say hi to finbar and get knocked down by a bus, or cross the road.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i was with him like all of last nigth and all of today hes rather wonderful.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
lol
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i didnt blank him
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i took pro plus with him
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
apparently.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i just didnt want to get myself knocked down by a bus.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
to be straight with you.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
lol well okkk =)
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
your determined to think that i hate him, arent you?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
no
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
he just told me to ask you why you blanked him
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
because i didnt want to get knocked down by a bus.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
there we go..
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
on any other occasion where there isnt moving traffic, i would have gone and said hey.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
anyway. hes a bit of alove and he gave me his alcohol.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
the end.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
lol
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
bloopbloop.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
question:
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
why don't you like Bella.?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
bella?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
bella.. Jen's bella... "marleigh's bella"
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
because of what she did to marleigh
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
shes a complete cunt for that.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i could never, ever bring myself to be friends with someone like that.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
ever.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
and
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
do you know her side of the sty?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
story?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
do you
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
have you ever given her a chance?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
niki, a few months ago you said the exact same things as i am now.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
you were like
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i hate bella shes a bitch
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
etc etc.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
well, i gave her a chance. i talked to her.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
but niki, shes not anorexic, is she.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
shes not completely screwed up.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i dont you know her olivia
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
or anything about her
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
in the slightest.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
im not defneding her
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
im making my point.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i dont want to give her a chance, i dont want to talk to her because im too completely full of hate and anger at waht she did to my best friend.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
so you dont ike her coz she fucked marleigh up?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
yes
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
BUT you like ollie, even though he fucked me up?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
in a less obvious way, of course?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
im not dropping this
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
youre a complete hypocrite..
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
and your not.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
do yu know what marleigh ever said to bella?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
nothig, i suppose?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
im not saying she said nothing
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
im not saying that marleigh was the ultimate victim
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
yes you re.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
are
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
" she fucked her up !"
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i know i dont know two sides of the story. but i do know that marleigh came out much worse becayse of everything
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
niki, you actually have no idea.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i dont see the point youre making, do you think ollie came out worse of our relationship?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
you have no idea what happened to marleigh at all
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i dont want to know.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i didnt say i did either.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
btw, this has nothing to do with you and ollie.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
yeah
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
it does
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i made that point
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
no it doesnt.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
to make the one about ollie and i
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
fuck off you cant tell me what ims aying
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
or can you now?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
for christs sake niki.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i'd like to ask you
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
who you think came out worse
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
why does every conversation i have with you turn into some kind of arguemnt?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
ollie or i
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
answer my question
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
to be honest, ollie. because youve moved on, youve got a new boyfriend, etc etc. and whatever, i know your just gonna give me the whole "you dont know the full story" thing but you asked my opinion and thats it.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
he hasnt moved one?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
On?
do you really think?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i know.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i said
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
do you think he hasnt moved on
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
you never knew how i really felt about ollie
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
and im not accusing you
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
that its your fault
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
that you didnt.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
okay
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
no
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
its not okay
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
well look, diverting the conversation from you. this is actually about the marleigh bella thing. i think, if it was someone that had completely messed up genevieve for two years, or had told her loads of shit about herself and had made her completely unconfident with herself and hard to trust people, i think you would hate that person too.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
lmao
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
ffs
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
he messed meup for 8 months in a close relationship. told me loads of shit about my self, told me that he would kill himself because i didnt care, made me completely upset with myself because it was all my fault, and i dont trust anyone from that now. i thought you would have hated that person too.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
im not talking about you and ollie, okay!
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
youre running in cricles.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
this isnt about you!
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
i am
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
the point of me startin a conversation
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
was to make the point about me and olie.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
then why didnt you star that in the first place?
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
because i cant make a comparison by bringing up ollie an di first or you get all protective.
   Virginia is for lovers//"Don't Forget The Hyphen!.. - ! " says:
lmao livy. you may as well just admit it, you sort of did betray me.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i didnt fucking betray you.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i dont get you.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
didnt you
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
?
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
would you say youwere betraying, well maybe betay is a harsh word.. marleigh if you became best mates with bella?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
yes
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
so
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
whats the difference
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
?
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
go on
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
what is it
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
donr you see it
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
because your not as affected as marleigh is...you dont really understand and i dont really want to explain it to you.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i dont understand? fuck that.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
you have no idea how im feeling!
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
well thats coz you never tell me, you just accuse me of a load of shit and leave it at that.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i dont like tellin gpeopel my feelings. the ollie and i situation is just the same
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
as bellas and marleighs
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
thank you
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
no its not
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
you dont get it, and i dont want to talk about it.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
yes
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
it is
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
just because im not a fucking anorexic depressant who infact, before you accuse me of something, i love very much..
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
why does almost every conversation we have in the end come to an argument to do with me and ollie being friends?
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
because it fucking bothe me
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
because there are so many situations
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
where jsut yours and ollies friendshp, your other "rules" arent applied.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i dont have "rules", okay?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
look, during you and ollies relationship when it was all good, you wanted me to be friends with ollie. and sure, i didnt like him at the beginning, but then i started being friends with him. did you really expect me to completely drop him out of my life when you broke up, or when you didnt like him anymore? did you really think i was going to sacrafice a friendship with someone just because you
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
told me to?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
because if you did, or still do, then you really dont understand or have any idea of the fabrics of a proper friendship at all.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i dont have any friends
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
youre right
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
wtf?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i never said you didn thave any friends,
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i dont
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i really dont
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
why do you think that is?
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
you just told me
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i dont udnerstand friendship
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i dont
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
youre right
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i have no friends
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
withou tknowing about friendship
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
how can i possibly have friends
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
andi donti know i dont
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
and ive felt bad about it for about 4 months now
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
have you tried to understand it?
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
like fuck i have tried.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i mean like...say, i had a huge argument with geno and we ended up hating eachother, if i said to you "i dont want you hanging round with geno anymore" you wouldnt say "ooh, okay." youd be like...erm fuck offf.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
no because iknew geno before you
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i introduced you to ollie
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
now make a comparison now
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
and with the ollie thing, it would be different if i was like ohmygod i want to go out with him, i lov ehim or whatever. but im not, im just friends with him. i could understand if it was different like that.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
because ytou hang out with him ore than me
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
you talk to him more than me
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
you everything with him more than me
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
niki its not just me, okay? you hang out with all your outta school friends more than me... you never ask me to go out with you, its not just me.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
i you wanted me to i would stop hanging outrealy couoes hent with finbar but he doesnt
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
does he
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
huh?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
outrealy couoes hent with finbar but he doesnt

McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
what does that mean?
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
lol oops i hate laptops.
   Virginia is for lovers// says:
if you wanted me to i would stophanging out with fin but he doesnt rly count does he?
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
i dont care that you hang out with fin.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
doesnt bother me in the sliiiiightest.
McNash forever! This Is the Distance between Point A and Point B. www.hey-arnold.com. "Dont Forget The Hyphen!" says:
but i guess we werent a serious relationship at all...so its not the same.

argh such...oh i cant explain it. but still she makes me feel like shit?? argh i fucking hate her.